You Can Only Change You

August 9, 2021

By Meghan Greenwood

Listen to the blog here: https://anchor.fm/meghan-greenwood/episodes/You-Can-Only-Change-You-e15m98g

No matter what we may want for another person, we can’t force that person to change. This was a hard lesson growing up, especially when I saw friends and family members not living up to their full potential – at least, in my eyes.

I distinctly remember a conversation about a friend of mine. I saw so many roads ahead – she could go be an engineer, a teacher, a therapist. She has such a great personality and a brilliant mind. Instead, she got a degree but doesn’t work in the field. While there is nothing wrong with her decisions, I see her struggle now to make financial ends meet and I just wonder what could have been.

Many years ago, I would let my own regret for her outcome upset me, even make me angry. Why did she choose this path? I could have helped her.

But she never asked for my help. She chose to do things her own way. And if she’d come to me today with concerns, I would open up and give her polite advice.

But that’s it. I can’t will another person’s life for them, despite every ache and desire to do so.

And that can be a hard pill to swallow.

The only person you can change is you.

You can reframe the entire thought as you only want what is best for your friend, but she is old enough to make her own decisions. You will support her no matter what her choices may be.

But put the focus on you.

Stop dwelling on other people’s decisions. It will leave you nothing but frustrated.

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