No Longer a Fit

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Growing up, it seemed like you were inseparable. Every crush, every outing, every piece of gossip was shared. You spent the weekends at her cousin’s house, she spent countless nights sleeping in your parent’s basement on a not-so-comfortable sofa bed. You told each other stories, secrets, and most importantly, your life goals. Or, at least you thought you did.

But then somewhere around your early 20’s, you noticed your paths diverging. You became super serious about your education, while she was tied up with her latest fling. You were eager to invest money in a house, while she jumped from job to job attempting to make ends meet. You still reached out consistently, but when she stopped reciprocating and worse, stopped listening when you did get her on the phone, it became clear.

The bond that was strong in your formative teenage years was no longer there.

It takes many a painstaking month to realize that you no longer have anything in common. You can’t confide in her, and her reliance on you to pick up the pieces can no longer exist. The mutual understanding is gone. The friendship is dwindling. And you start to question if it really ever existed in the first place? What did you ever have in common?

Many years later, you’ve come to terms with the lost relationship, and more importantly, the lost time. Sure, it hurt at first. You were actually a little angry to have invested so much of yourself during critical stages of life – and for what? Empty promises? Missed milestones? Her to never really ask you anything substantive? Was it all a big waste?

But instead of making things worse, you take the high road. You wish her the best during all of her milestones, you wish her well on the journey, you sincerely hope she finds what she’s looking for. And you come to terms with knowing that she’s no longer a fit.

What once seemed like an unbreakable connection all those years ago was certainly history. There is no erasing the past. However, there is only acceptance and progression forward. Making new friends, forming new relationships, surrounding myself with people who understand and sincerely care. If she pops up in my future, maybe I’ll let her in.

But until then, I’m enough without her.

Friendships come and go. Don’t place blame. Understand that you can move on.

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