Listen to this episode on the Pgh Dreamer’s Pod

As an upholder, I tend to hold myself to my own promises. If I say I’m going to do something, 9 times out of 10, I’ll do it, even if it takes me much longer than anticipated.

But when it comes to tough decisions, like changing jobs, buying a new house, or raising kids, I often can’t rely on my own small perspective. These are situations where reaching out to someone, especially someone wiser, is valuable.

I’ve tried finding mentors in the past. Typically they have been associated with my current employer in some way – either informally through 1:1 guidance conversations or directly paired through some mentorship service.

However, mentorship transcends your current workplace – and it certainly goes beyond work in general.

I’ve had the opportunity over the last few decades to really connect with people of all ages and backgrounds. I’ve established relationships with people whom I would have never met had I not started volunteering or asked them for coffee outside of an activity. The precise ages of each of these people doesn’t matter, it’s simply having a wide variety in my phone contacts that can seriously help guide big decisions.

Case in point. I was in a terrible job, where I felt disrespected by the manager on a regular basis and overall felt frustrated with the actual work. However, the money was good, the market sucked, and it honestly gave me MORE time with my kids since I often was left with nothing assigned to me. Hey, if they wanted to pay me to do nothing, so be it.

But, deep down I knew I needed a change. I knew I deserved respect. And I knew I had more to offer the workforce.

I met up with a dear friend, maybe 10 years older than me. She has made several career moves over the years, all while balancing kids and a divorce. She demonstrated to me that fulfillment is possible. Over tacos, we discussed the pros and cons of my current role versus a few other roles I was considering. We narrowed in on my ideal role, after which I accepted and am still happy to be in today. As a fellow mom, she gave me the power to go after my career goals as well.

Would I have originally thought to call her when I needed career support? Probably not. She’s not in my field. But after speaking with her and how open she was to share, my worldview of mentors changed dramatically.

Another example. I have a friend who is in her 90s. She has raised multiple children and grandchildren and was a teacher. I rely on her to understand my children’s learning journey. She always points me in the right direction of resources and encourages my outside the box thinking when it comes to getting them support.

Mentorship is so much more than a match-up for your career development at work. It is knowledge-sharing across so many facets of life.

I encourage you to do a short exercise. Write down 3 parts of your life that are the most challenging. Now, branch each part into 3 people you’d want to discuss these challenges with. Think a wide age group when it comes to these mentors – and don’t select just your best friend or sibling. I’d also suggest ending up with 9 distinct names when you’re finished. Each one of these individuals can be a great source of not only perspective and wisdom, but support as well.

Start setting up time to speak with them next – a coffee date or a walk can go a long way!