Listen to this episode on the Pgh Dreamer’s Pod: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7gGbGLdNUGX2ww1632WPqH?si=8E4VLl5VSZaisPaMvZUcCg

Growing up, it seemed like every day was filled with friends – whether they were in school with you or joined you in after-school activities. At every turn, other people of the same age were nearby. Hopefully, it was easy to find connection.

As we embarked into adulthood, perhaps some of the same friendships remained. We stayed in touch long-distance and even made an effort to meet up for the occasional brunch. We continue with small gestures to retain those friendships.

But perhaps they didn’t withstand the test of time. We started liking new things, changed values, and the long-time friendships simply faded away. We grew apart, by no fault of anyone, just a different mindset as an adult than a child.

However, the notion of going it on your own as an adult is ill-advised. A study conducted by the WHO reports loneliness as significantly impacting health and wellness, causing more than 800K deaths annually.

With this in mind, it’s crucial to maintain and/or establish friendships as adults.

If you already have a best friend or a great group of friends, hold on tight. Maintain an active relationship by communicating often, making plans to see each other, and staying informed of their life happenings.

If you don’t have someone in your life that you can call a great friend, it’s time to find one.

But how do adults make new friends? Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Find a local establishment where you can visit often – perhaps a neighborhood cafe or your local library. Most of these places host free or low cost events. If you’re interested in one of these events, attend and connect with other like-minded people. Return often to create a presence and if you really hit it off with someone, ask them to meet you for coffee sometime.
2. Join a gym and/or a recreational sports team. Again, connecting with people doing things that you enjoy is a great way to initiate a new friendship.
3. Rekindle relationships with old friends. Sometimes all it takes is a ‘how are you?’ message to start the conversation again.
4. Put yourself out there. There are so many in-person and digital groups that foster connection. Join a community service venture (e.g. volunteering at a food bank or pet shelter), take a knitting class, find a group that plays pickleball, spend your time with other moms/dads/grandparents in your area. Even if you don’t hit it off immediately with someone, you are still socializing by being around other people.

Friendships take work, but they also require proactivity. Don’t wait for others to invite you to do something – initiate your own social connections and build relationships from there. And if you don’t find someone immediately. try a new avenue.