Listen on the Pgh Dreamer’s Pod: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/meghan-greenwood/episodes/Adults-Have-Lost-the-Ability-to-Truly-Rest–Especially-Without-Guilt-Question-1—When-Was-the-Last-Time-You-Felt-Rested-e2t56qq

As a fresh start to 2025, I will be posing some questions to make you think. Questions that may make you feel a little weird; but nonetheless, they need asked.

Question 1 – When was the last time you felt rested?

This first question has personally thrown me for a loop. A practice so common in Eastern cultures and perhaps, more common 20 years ago, is true rest. And no, I don’t mean sleep – we’ll save that for another question. Instead, I mean a restful state of mind and body. A rejuvenation of your senses, a disengagement of your mental focus, slow breathing, and most importantly, being fully present.

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that adults have lost the ability to truly rest. Even if we are in a lazy state, we’re likely still scrolling on our phones. When we are rushing to and from, we rarely are present. And multi-tasking, talk about the exact opposite of true rest!

So when I saw this question pop-up in my feed, I knew it had to be answered.

I rarely rest. If I sit down, I usually have a million things on my mind that eventually guilt me into standing back up and tackling more on the list. Otherwise, I’m scrolling on my phone doing something like ordering groceries, checking emails, or scheduling posts for my social media accounts. Even when I try to read for pleasure, I’m likely to have a piece of paper nearby to jot down notes that have nothing to do with what I’m reading or get distracted by checking my Instagram notifications.

Sometimes, I really annoy myself for failing to rest, but more often, the guilt of resting holds me back from honestly appreciating the necessity and beauty of it. Guilt. Unless someone is shaking their finger at you when resting, making you feel bad for not doing more (which I really hope is not happening to you!), our guilt is self-inflicted.

Guilt for resting occurs because our brains are hard-wired into needing validation. When we accomplish tasks, even something as menial as folding the laundry or cleaning out the junk drawer, our brains feel a sense of result, creating this hit of “I’m-being-productive.” I’m personally addicted to this feeling. If I rest, it’s like I can’t wait to get my next productive fix.

How do we combat this guilt and truly enjoy rest? There are a number of strategies that you can try:

1. Be more self-compassionate. Listen to your body and mind and rest when needed. If you are exhausted after a long work week, you deserve time on the couch.
2. Reframe rest as a needed part of your day and week, just like taking a shower or paying bills. It is necessary for you to perform at your best when the rest is over.
3. Push back on societal pressures. Everyone is bombarded with expectations to do it all and work yourself to the bone. Be a rebel, remove yourself from the “working to live” mindset.
4. Set boundaries. There is a time for work and a time to rest. Establish a schedule that works for you. For example, refuse to answer work emails after 5pm and take that PTO before it expires. Rest once the dishes are done, before the bedtime routine of getting your kids to take a bath.

Lastly, rest can mean different things for different people. I love to read. Ever since COVID, I changed my reading habits to include fiction – a way to escape reality, step into other worlds, and truly disengage from my own small bubble. It has remarkably perfected my rest.

A lot of people enjoy walks – yes walks – as a form of rest. I encourage you to walk without a phone or headphones. Take it all in, be fully present.

Bathing without distractions. Yes, no music and hopefully no one pounding on the door.

Meditation. A time to sit quietly and achieve calmness and awareness.

And I’m sure, many other ideas.

I hope you’ll take the time to think through this question and put some of your own rest strategies into play this year! And I can help you be mindful of your rest – reach out if you want to stay accountable!