Listen to the Pgh Dreamer’s Pod: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/meghan-greenwood/episodes/Youre-Not-Everyones-Cup-of-Tea-e2ddcs6
As much as you try to squeeze your way into the perfect mold, you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Think about it. Even the most beloved of celebrities – Taylor Swift, Oprah, Meryl Streep – have haters. And likely, said haters don’t even know the true person behind those individuals. They’re merely making a judgment based on performance and news media.
As a species, humans desperately want to fit in. It’s in our nature to be part of the pack. To be connected. We long to feel accepted and positively contribute to the group. Socializing wards off feelings of loneliness, which can severely dampen physical and mental health.
But what happens when you just don’t jive with the group? Or you fall out of touch with someone you previously closely related to? Or you put on a concert and someone doesn’t like your new hairstyle?
While I’m all for acceptance and tolerance of all human beings, respect doesn’t necessarily mean wanting to spend time with every person. Outside of our many different interests, perspectives, and lifestyles, we have the right to not like other people…and in turn, they can dislike you.
This is a tough pill to swallow for a lot of people. The need to fit in sometimes overwhelms the reality that you’re not going to click with everyone.
If you are feeling like you’re not belonging, here are 4 tips to finding your tribe:
- Look for people with similar interests. Take a class, find a community club, join an online group. Guaranteed there are others who find pleasure in what you also enjoy!
- Open up to others, within reason. It’s ok to show vulnerability and be genuine. However, if you overload the first new person you meet with a 10-year history of your relationship problems, it may be a turnoff. Proceed slowly.
- Don’t be afraid to go outside your comfort zone. If fear of rejection is holding you back from meeting new people or establishing deeper connections, lean in. You’ve lived through previous rejections and the next one won’t be your last – don’t let that paralyze your progress.
- Stay connected. Relationships don’t survive if they’re not maintained. And don’t expect others to always reach out. Be proactive and build up those friendships.
And don’t forget, your own self-acceptance is key to allowing others into your circle. Move forward loving yourself!