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A motive is the reason for doing something. You may often think you know why you do certain things, but surprisingly, a lot of us don’t take the time to really understand what drives our lifestyle tendencies.

Why do you work? Why do you watch reality TV? Why do you no longer talk to that friend?

Whether what you’re trying to dissect is a good habit, a bad habit, your mood, or your job, here are 5 steps to determining your motives…and then deciding if you are satisfied with said motives or need a change:

1. Identify the item in your life that needs clarity.
2. How does this item make you feel? Write down 3 feelings that come to mind.
3. Why do you do this item? Write down 3 reasons that are likely driving your action.
4. Is there any other way to obtain the same feelings or reasons?
5. Is a change needed and/or possible? Be honest with yourself.

Now let’s work through an example.

1. I tend to stay up too late…not all the time, but enough that it really drains me.
2. How does it make me feel? Tired, cranky, and unproductive.
3. Why do I do this? To watch TV, to wind down, and I am usually too awake
4. Is there any other way to obtain these same feelings or reasons? Yes, I can get necessary relaxation and entertainment in other ways.
5. Is a change needed or possible? Yes, I can try reading more for entertainment, limiting TV time; and I can do more to wind down and make me tired, such as night yoga, stretch, and/or sleepy time tea.

When you know why you’re doing something, it can add a lot of clarity to your life and make you feel in more control. Try this exercise for all the things!